I AM FAT

Have you come ever come across a person who is conventionally over weight yet happily goes around claiming that they are happy with the way they look? Well chances are that person is obviously lying and just saying that to make herself feel better.

So how do I know this for a fact? Well from my personal experience of course. Take it from a girl who has been "fat", "chubby", "moti", "healthy" her whole life. I have spent my entire life defending my excess weight. I have blamed it on everything from bad genes, bad timing and of course bad luck.

For 23 good years I have gotten away with it. But things are about to change. I have taken up Yoga (yet again!) Yes. I have sold my soul. Sorry but it was about time.

So why did I take the jump again when I know I won't continue? Mostly because of myself. Okay I'm lying. Partly because of myself. Mostly because of pressure from the world. When I say world I mean all the thin, skinny people....all the fat aunties...people who don't mean to call me fat but call me other nice names which ultimately mean fat.

I am FAT. I have known it my whole life. But how do I explain why I am fat. My whole life I have been healthy, not that I eat too much or just sit at home doing nothing. I don't understand where I went wrong?

The fact of the matter is that I need to lose weight. Whether it is to prove to myself and people that I can be svelte, whether it is to make people shut up, whether it is to fit in or be fit in general. No matter what the reason is, I need to do this.

I have been practicing Yoga since a week now. It was great. I was never more determined in my life to do this. I never accepted the fact that I need to loose weight etc. I was always happy with myself. Well things change, people change and mostly opinions change. So I think I have changed as have my opinions.

I am not very sure how long will this determination last. But I hope it does. Because now I think, its time I did something.

I am not saying this is going to be easy. In fact it will be difficult. But I'm not worried. I need to motivate myself. And I won't give up, no matter what you or anyone else thinks or says to me. Whether people help me through this or not is secondary. Now its time to fight. Fight the fat. Fight the haters. Fight the non believers. Sounds like I am going on a crusade. Well this is the ultimate battle for me and what I believe in. And am sure people are going to laugh when they read this. Because all of this, comes from a person like me. Someone who never cared!

Well I am hoping for the best. Encouragement will be appreciated. But I beg you, if you have nothing nice to say about this, then do not say nothing at all. Because the last thing you need is to mess with an over weight, opinionated, hormonal woman who is suffering from a quarter (almost mid) life crisis.

HOPEFULLY Fat Free Me