To my beloved ex…

My Dear Wine,

Haven’t we known each other for a while now? Around 7 years? It’s been sometime since I first sipped you. It was about 2002, and while I didn’t really appreciate you until the last couple of years, I know that first time was the start of something special.

Sadly, I have some news for you. I know we’ve had some great times, and I know we were never exactly ‘exclusive’ but I thought it would only be nice if I let you know that I have started seeing Cocktails. Please do not get me wrong here I do enjoy your company, but I don’t think ours is a relationship that’s good for me. Sure, things no doubt are great when we’re together, we can talk all night and I feel like you really make me a smarter and funnier person. But Dear O Dear, the morning after, well, you know how you get. It’s the splitting headache you give me, and the grossly purple tongue, the trash-can breath and the stained teeth. I am really sorry but I just can’t take it any more.

Sure, having you by my side at the dinner table has a certain refined and urbane aura that these cocktails could never achieve, but you know there is some fun attached to it. He is so versatile and always keeps me guessing – sometimes tart, sometimes creamy, sometimes even a cheeky hint of fruit.

I am sorry I didn’t write to you earlier. Was a little scared because of your different nature. Didn’t know how you would react! One minute you suggest notes of raspberry but then the next you emanate an earthiness or complete transparency! You are so complex, you invite everybody in, especially girls like me. And then with loads of you, we are left asking for water, with no help from you.

At least Cocktail leaves me with a token umbrella to cheer me up in my darkest, nauseous bathroom hour.

I hope you react well after reading this and do not get too tannic! It was nice being with you. I have enjoyed so much with you and will always remain in touch with you.

Regards,

Your dearest ex…